Here are a few of our favorite Big Ideas + Other Cool Stuff from Day 2 of Mastin Kipp's 5-Day course Love University: Big Love Immersion Week.
Join Mastin Kipp, CEO of The Daily Love, for this 5-day immersion couse on discovering how to generate, get and keep the healthy love you deserve!
This course is for anyone who can’t seem to get their act together in relationships. Many people we see are kick butt at their jobs and not so much in their relationships. Why is this? We will find out! Plus this course will take you thought our trusted “Relationship Blindspot Exercise” that will reveal to you why you keep dating the same type of person over and over again.
Big Idea # 1: Encouraging Feminine Energy
People with feminine energy are constantly trying to fill up (energetically and physically) in order to experience love. They are uniters, healers, nurturers. They want to feel understood so that they feel safe enough to open. They want connection. They want to reveal.
But they will not "reveal" themselves unless they feel safe to do so.
In order for a woman to encourage the type of behaviors that make her feel safe to express herself, she needs to take advantage of the beautiful, necessary feminine quality of praise.
For example, it does not come naturally for a man to share his feelings. When he does, he does so by conscious decision. It's a credit to him and to his ability to share, and it's a credit to HER because she created the space for it.
Because they aim to please, men respond well to praise. So if your man shares his feelings or takes the time to listen, praise him for it, won't ya?! You're more likely to see more of it in the future.
Note that small shifts can create huge changes in our lives. By praising men for sharing and for listening, women create the space for him to be able to nonverbally communicate that she is safe. In turn, she can freely express her essence.
Ask yourself: am I revealing or am I concealing? If you have the feminine role in your relationship and you are concealing or discouraging communication, then you are inadvertently exibiting a masculine energy, which will clash with your partner's.
Big Idea #2: The Meadow Reports
It's very helpful to consider the behaviors of cavemen and cavewomen, as this gives us a glimpse into the way our brains work.
Cave men were hunters. They killed stuff, and they brought it home. It didn't matter HOW they did it, it just mattered that they did it.
Cavewomen were gatherers. They collected stuff. Details were very important to cavewomen, because the difference between a light-blue berry and a dark-blue berry could be fatal.
This explains a significant communication difference between masculine and feminine energies. When you ask a man how his day was and he says it was "good," he's not trying to be distant--he's just singularly-focused. He has given you all of the information that he felt needed to be reported.
Women, on the other hand, have a broad focus. Their brains are wired to search and scan and be aware of everything at all times. (It's a protective mechanism of the amygdala.) Sometimes, a woman's "basket" gets full and she just needs to UNLOAD.
The challenge which results is that when a woman is pouring her heart out, the man is eager to problem-solve and is wondering, "What is wrong? What's the point?" The point may be that she just needs to unload. If he interrupts her or makes her feel invalidated, she will not feel safe in opening to him in the future.
What every woman wants to hear and few men want to say is "TELL ME MORE."
To solve this conundrum, it's helpful if the woman precedes her "Meadow Report" (a term coined by Alison Armstrong) by asking, "mind if I go into the meadow for a few minutes?" This cues him that 1) she is not planning on talking forever and 2) his only job is to listen and to make her feel safe.
Men: the Meadow Report is a good sign--it means she trusts you. If you're not getting berry markers, there's a problem.
Big Idea #3: Three Women in One
When Mastin jokingly says that "all women are crazy," what he really means is that feminine energy is complex. We are part Temptress, part Mother, and part Queen.
- Temptress - The temptress is expressed not only through physical intimacy but also through the inherently energetic, free, playful side of a woman.
- Mother - Self-explanatory. This is the part of a woman that is a nurturer, regardless of whether she has children.
- Queen - This is the part of the woman that can understand the masculine within herself and appreciate it in her partner in a way that feels true to her and to her values.
Marianne Williamson introduced Mastin and Jenna to the idea of "The Goddess Hour." It scientifically takes 20 minutes for a woman to transition from her masculine energy (which she might use at work all day) to her feminine energy (at home). To encourage this shift in energy, work 20 minutes (or more) of transition time into your day whenever possible. Use that time to read, meditate, journal, lay down, do your nails, garden, or any preferred activity that cultivates the feminine energy.
Many women suppress the temptress side of themselves because it got them into trouble in their teens or early 20's. The first step in moving past this is to forgive yourself as well as the men in your life who may have hurt you at that time. It is possible, natural, and healthy to safely play inside the temptress energy.
For the healthiest relationships, a woman needs to feel comfortable honoring all three of these aspects of herself.
Other Cool Stuff:
"Don't blame him; train him." - Mastin
"It's time to get rid of the belief that our partners are responsible for how we feel." - Tony Robbins
"We attract to us the dormant parts of ourselves in others." - Mastin
"Relationships are containers for spiritual growth. You either grow together or you grow apart." - Mastin + Jenna
"My definition of a powerful woman is one who is voluntarily vulnerable." - Jenna
--the en*theos team