A Five Star Practice for CreatingBeautiful Relationships
with Keith Witt
People have been asking me for decades
How do I tell if someone is a good match for me?
What should I look for in a potential lover?
How can I be someone that will magnetize good partners?
What do I need to know to create beautiful relationships?
I often respond by encouraging them to ask five questions about others and
themselves. I call these questions the Five Stars, and these five simple questions can help us choose better lovers, be better lovers, and improve current relationships.
The Five Stars are:
- Is there erotic polarity between me and this person?
- Does this person arrange to be healthy physically and psychologically?
- If we were in conflict, would this person be able and willing to do what it takes to get back to love?
- Would this person be a superior parent?
- Does this person have deep purpose, and would they recognize and admire my deep purpose?
In this class we’ll start with the Five Stars and expand into related perspectives and practices that support beautiful relationships.
Human love is the most demanding and magnificent form of relating that evolution has generated over 14 billion years. Using the Five Stars we can better negotiate the developmental levels, habitual conflicts, and ultimate transcendent states that are available to all of us through mutuality and connection with one another.
In this 5-week course I’ll teach principles and facts, and tell stories about this material. We’ll use readings, TED talks, dialogues, and exercises to learn how to discern and embody the Five Stars. Mostly, we’ll have lots of fun and enjoy a bunch of new perspectives and techniques.
Also, earn 9 hours of CEU's for this class!
Dr. Witt is a California state approved Provider for Continuing Education for Marriage Family Therapists. CA. CEU approval No_PCE 4629
Who Should Attend?
Anyone who’s interested in joyful, authentic intimacy as well as personal growth and development will benefit from this class.
What You'll Learn
Week 1. Introduction: overview of the Five Stars and why they’re so important at this historical junction in human relationships
- How do I apply the five stars to me, and how to best practice them?
- The frontal lobes and the talent code. What growth mindsets are and why they work so well in every area of life
Week 2. Erotic polarity: what it is and how to work with it
- How can I better understand my masculine and feminine aspects and use them to create better relationships?
- We practice an attunement exercise: attuning to self, others, and spirit. We explore the masculine/feminine components of attunement
- What does erotic polarity feel like and what do I do with the attraction, repulsion, excitement, shame, and confusion the often accompanies erotic charge?
- I’ll work with individual and/or couple volunteers on better discerning and embodying the Five Stars. We’ll discuss what this work reveals about love and relationships
Week 3. What is physical and psychological health and how to do it?
- We define health and look where we’re more or less healthy
- We practice what to do if we feel our partner is not healthy in some essential way
- We explore how conflict arises in relationships, and how to tell if someone (including me) is able and willing to get back to love
Week 4. What makes a superior parent?
- Why is being a superior parent so important?
- How can I tell someone is a superior parent? How can I better be a superior parent?
- We write a “future history” of relationships blossoming in weeks, months, and years to come
Week 5. What is deep purpose, and why is deep purpose important?
- What moves you most deeply? How might that be related to your deep purpose?
- If you are partnered, what moves your partner most deeply, and how might this be related to his or her deep purpose? How do you support/honor this?
- You create a mind map embodying the Five Stars in your daily life —After questions and discussion, we go more deeply into the consequences of practicing the Five Stars on the constantly emerging personal myths of our lives
- Summary, tips for the future, closing ceremony
Dates & Tuition
Time & Date: This class is available for immediate download!
What Youâ€™ll Get Out of the Course
You will have a much deeper understanding of how we’re programmed genetically and socially to love. You will better understand your personal strengths and weaknesses in relationships. You will have practical tools for loving better and helping your intimate partners, children, and family love better.
Textbook for the Course
About Keith Witt
Dr. Witt (www.drkeithwitt.com) is a licensed clinical psychologist, lecturer and author dedicated to studying, teaching, and creating transformative healing systems. He’s been practicing psychotherapy in Santa Barbara, California for over 38 years.
Keith has written and lectured on Integrally Informed Psychotherapy, and advocates a developmental and relational orientation to life and love. He has been heavily influenced by the work of his friend, Ken Wilber (author of Integral Psychology among many other books). His passionate belief is that we are always developing in relationship with others, ourselves, and our own past/present/future, and these processes are heavily informed by our evolutionary history, our personal history, and the cultural demands of family,
friends, and the social networks we live and work in. Keith is convinced that much human suffering is a result of simple ignorance of basic knowledge and information about how we develop, bond, and love. His mission is to share these perspectives to help the world love better.
Keith is the author of The Attuned Family, Waking Up, Sessions, and The Gift of Shame (all available through amazon.com). He has lectured widely, and taught at Antioch University, the Santa Barbara Graduate Institute, and Santa Barbara Adult Education. He is a popular presenter at Boulder Integral, and is a contributor to the Journal of Integral Theory and Practice. He is a founding member of Patricia Albere’s Evolutionary Collective.
Keith decided to become a psychotherapist at the early age of 15, when he entered therapy and realized it was, in many ways, a natural language––a native tongue. He decided to participate and contribute, and since that time has conducted over fifty thousand therapy sessions.
Born in Hawaii, raised in suburban Los Angeles, Keith has lived and worked in Santa Barbara since 1967. He’s been an enthusiastic surfer, a tennis player, and from 2000 to 2006 fronted the rock band, Blown Head Gasket. Along the way, he also trained as a tap dancer. Keith earned a black belt in Shotokan Karate in 1969, and today is an avid tai chi practitioner.
Keith met his wife Becky (who founded Life Vessel Santa Barbara) in 1973, and they’ve been together ever since. They have two grown children, Ethan and Zoe, both of whom have chosen teaching and the healing arts as vocations.
Praise for Keith Witt
Dr. Keith Witt is an inspiring and entertaining teacher. He seems to know exactly how to weave story, wisdom, silence and participation with full transmission of the work being done. His brilliance exists within an endless stream of practical knowledge combined with a deep commitment and love for people.
—Patricia Albere, transformational educator, contemporary spiritual teacher, founder of the EVOLUTIONARY COLLECTIVE and host of Evolutionary Collective Conversations.
As a masterful educator, Keith Witt calls upon one’s full range of senses to help understand and integrate material at a core level. He eloquently, and often humorously, weaves together his years of personal experience, vast knowledge, and divinely guided wisdom in a manner that is enlightening, transformative and fun. If you have an opportunity to learn from this master take it, you will not be disappointed.
We had the fine opportunity of getting to see Dr. Keith Witt present at Boulder Integral Center many times. The participants at his events thoroughly enjoy his sharp intelligence, the evolutionary perspective that he brings to all his teachings, decades of experience as a therapist and his great sense of humor. He loves to teach with anecdotes and always includes experiential exercises which makes learning more fun and memorable. He also has tremendous skill in introducing complex theoretical or psychological concepts in bite-sized chunks for easy digestion, while holding a lot of sensitive space for human emotion. We loved it whenever Dr. Keith Witt was a guest speaker in Boulder!
— Nomali Perera, Boulder Integral Center
Dr. Keith Witt is a licensed clinical psychologist, lecturer and author dedicated to studying, teaching, and creating transformative healing systems. He’s been practicing psychotherapy in Santa Barbara, California for over 38 years. Learn more about Keith »